"What does the chef recommend?"
"Sir, this is a mcdonalds"
when music continues to play after i closed the tab
Showers need more specific temperature settings besides hypothermia and third degree burns
Period: you want cookies
Period: you want to fuck
Period: you want to fuck while eating cookies
Period: lets be sad about trivial things, shall we?
Period: kill them
Period: kill them too
Period: kill them and eat their cookies
Period: shhhh it’s okay you’ll feel better soon
Period: no you wont fuck you
Period: whoops you dropped a spoon better cry
A Kingdom of procrastination and it looks like I’m the Queen.
sext: I bought you concert tickets
- what i actually said: i forgot
- what my parents heard: i hate you and i am determined to fail at life, go to prison, and bring dishonor to this family. i care about nothing except my computer and tv shows and you can just go burn in hell for all i care. also i'm pregnant.
Adulthood doesn’t mean you stop drinking juice pouches and eating fruit snacks. It means buying your own.
and mixing them with vodka
At 3 in the morning while marathoning your favorite show because nobody can tell you to go to bed.
And then regretting your decisions the next morning.
Because you have to work.
and make more money to buy fruit snacks and juice pouches.and vodka
I love how we’ve all slowly grown up to be replicas of the antagonists in the TV shows we watched:
And of course, Moseby